Why YOU Shouldn’t Order Steak at a Restaurant

well done steak 300x225 Why YOU Shouldnt Order Steak at a Restaurant

Why YOU Shouldnt Order Steak at a Restaurant

Above are the official definitions for steak temperatures.  At my restaurant, we are required to quote back a mini-version of that every time a customer orders steak or a burger.  We tell you that well done is brown, medium well is a touch of pink in the center, medium is pink all the way through, medium rare is a warm red center with a little blood, and rare is a cool red center with blood.

Why does my restaurant require us to educate the customer? Because so many people seem to have no idea what they are talking about when they order a steak! They will order it medium, and the send it back appalled and disgusted because of all of the pink.  That’s all medium is folks, its pink! All the way through.  They think they’re sounding all fancy and they order it medium rare, and then they freak out when it comes.  ”My steak is raw!” Pretty much, my friend, because that is, in fact, how you ordered it.

Another area that RCs need a steak education in? Cuts of meat.  First of all, a T-bone is not the best cut in the world, contrary to what most men and a decent amount of women seem to think.  We sell a porterhouse at my restaurant, and people get so disappointed! “I wanted a t-bone!” they wail.  A porterhouse is a much better choice, because one whole side is a fillet, which is an awesome cut.  Trust me.  T-bone just sounds more exciting.

If you’re on a budget, then steak is not for you.  Everyone wants a sirloin, because its the cheapest.  Guess what? Its also one of the leanest cuts of meat, which means its optimal at medium (pink all the way through).  As its brought up to medium well and well done, it sacrifices tenderness, period.  When my customers ask for a well-done sirloin but make sure its juicy, I tell them its not going to happen.  I suggest the fillet, which is relatively tender even at well done (if you MUST have your steak that way).

Bottom line? Steak is not meant to be well-done, get a burger instead if you’re scared of pink.  And with steak, you get what you pay for, so if you insist on spending $7.99 with two sides included for a steak, well, I hope you’re expectations are bottom of the barrel my friend.  I know these are cold, hard facts to face, but trust me.  If you don’t know how to order steak, you should stick with chicken.  I’m just saying.

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Video: A Discount on the Meal Does Not Mean a Discount on the Tip

Marta Daniels ( http://www.howrc.com ) explains that, if you are fortunate enough to receive a discount on your restaurant bill, you should still tip on the pre-discount total or you’re a cheapskate.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GqM5ldqTd1Y

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My Restaurant is Not the Taste Fest and Always Trust Your Server

smorgasbord My Restaurant is Not the Taste Fest and Always Trust Your Server

What do I mean by that? Well, RCs, let me break it down.  My restaurant has a pretty lenient policy as far as tasting before you order.  We’ll let you sample the soup, any of our salad dressings, any of our sauces.  That includes our bbq sauce, the sauce we serve with our salmon, the sauce we serve with shrimp.  You can sample any of our draft beers, and any of the wines we sell by the glass.

However.  The salad guy is not going to whip up one of our signature side salads, which feature a good 7 to 10 ingredients each, just so you can have a couple of bites to see how you feel about it.  The grill guy will not cook up one or two bones of ribs just so you can decide for yourself whether or not they are as tender as I claim they are.  And the bartender is not going to whip up a mai tai for you to sample to determine whether she can make them as good as the guy at your neighborhood bar does.

There are a couple of reasons why restaurants do not have a “taste everything before you order” policy for RCs, and here they are.

Reason One: Refer to the title.  There are taste festivals several times a year in most big cities, so check those out if you want to experience an abundant variety of taste sensations for free.

Reason Two: We let you taste the things I mentioned above, the sauces and whatnot, because it is convenient to do so.  Our prep guys make up the sauces for the whole day each morning, we have a big, huge pot of soup at all times, taking a smidgeon of beer from the tap is no problem, and the bartender can pour a bit of wine and re-cork the bottle.  However.  Our ribs are cut in half racks and full racks.  We cannot cut a couple bones off for you, because it compromises an entire piece! The bartender cannot make up an entire cocktail for you to try a shot’s worth, because liquor and mixes are rather expensive to waste like that.  And we’re not going to open a bottle of beer because you’ve never had that kind and have been dying to try it.  Sorry.

This next set of scintillating expository is directed at the Diva RCs, and you know who you are (men can certainly be divas too, by the way).  If you ask me how the wings are, and I say they’re very good, and you ask are they spicy, and I say yes, the sauce is spicy, and you ask are they really spicy, and I say yes, they are quite spicy, and you ask are they super spicy, and I say that it’s a matter of taste, I wouldn’t call them super spicy but perhaps someone else would, and you inform me that you will go ahead and try them, but if they’re super spicy then you’re sending them back- well my response to you is that it is quite possible that you will find them super spicy, and therefore, rather than take the risk, I suggest you order one of the many, many other items that are on the menu.  If you insist on ordering them, then those are your wings.  I’m going to inform my manager of the conversation we just had verbatim, so that when you try to concoct some other reason to send them back (and you will) then he knows what time it is.

Case in point.  We have a dish that features a portion of thinly sliced steak.  As a result of the thinly sliced nature, the steak is slow-roasted to medium, and that’s it.  If it’s cooked any further, its going to be tough.  So when people order this dish, we explain to them that it comes medium.  If they want it well done, we explain that we don’t recommend this because of the toughness issue.  If they insist, then we tell them that the grill guy will cook it up for them, but they cannot send it back regardless of how inedible it has become.  I had a chick insist upon the cook up.  So I went through the spiel, and she was like, “yeah, yeah, I understand! That’s how I want it.”  So that’s how she got it, and of course it was too tough, and she said this is too tough, and her dinner companion informed her that I had told her just that, and she said “I know, but I don’t want it, because it’s too tough!” I mean, I’m sorry, but at that point it has become your personal problem.

Here are the lessons we’ve learned today.  A restaurant is not a smorgasbord for you to sample and taste to your hearts content.  And, your server knows what s/he is talking about! I have had pretty much every dish my restaurant has to offer, and if I haven’t, I’ll be honest about that to you.  If I tell you its spicy, its spicy! If I tell you that the thinly sliced steak is too tough when cooked up well done, it is indeed too tough at well done.  I know my restaurant.  You know the law, or how to teach seven-year-olds, how to deliver mail, or whatever it is that you do for a living, right? Well, I’ve got this.  It’s what I do! I’m just saying.

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Restaurant Lingo: Interesting and Wacky Terms Part 2

Diner Slang1 225x300 Restaurant Lingo: Interesting and Wacky Terms Part 2

Here are a few more weird and wacky restaurant lingo terms! Try some out with your server! Just kidding, but if you do, let me know how that works out!

  • Adam’s ale: water
  • A blonde with sand: coffee with cream and sugar
  • C.J. Boston: cream cheese and jelly
  • Dog soup: water
  • Eve with a moldy lid: apple pie with a slice of cheese
  • Fifty-five: a glass of root beer
  • Gravel train: sugar bowl
  • Honeymoon salad: lettuce alone
  • Irish turkey: corned beef and cabbage
  • Lighthouse: bottle of ketchup
  • The twins: salt and pepper shakers
  • No cow: without milk
  • One on the city: a glass of water
  • Peel it off the wall: add a leaf of lettuce
  • Shake one in the hay: strawberry milkshake
  • Twelve alive in a shell: a dozen raw oysters
  • Well-dressed diner: codfish

Feel free to share any unusual lingo you’ve heard while dining out, or that you and your co-workers use at your restaurant! God Bless!

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Video: My Restaurant is Not the Tastefest and Always Trust Your Server

Marta Daniels ( http://www.howrc.com ) explains that you cannot try everything at a restaurant before ordering, and server tells you things about the menu to help you, not steer you wrong.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Thl_TwiPet4

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Restaurant Lingo: Interesting and Wacky Terms

Diner Slang1 225x300 Restaurant Lingo: Interesting and Wacky Terms

The term lunch counter was first recorded in 1869 in the United States, and became known as a luncheonette in the 1930s. Many terms were launched from local and ethnic roots that might be considered politically incorrect these days, and others were linked to their digestion reaction. Some waiter/cook shorthand has become a standard part of our language, such as mayo, BLT, and stack (of pancakes). You may still hear some of the old slang terms in quaint Luncheonettes and Soda Shoppe’s in smaller old cities in the United States, as well as in some newer retro diners where nostalgia is the gimmick of choice (got this from http://www.hungrymonster.com/humor/Restaurant_Lingo.cfm).

Thought I’d share some of the terms I use, as well as some wacky ones I found while wandering around the web.  Hope you enjoy these. I warn you, some of them don’t make a bit of sense!

  • 86: Indicates a food item we’ve run out of for the time being, as in “86 the soup until further notice!” Also indicates an item a person would like left out of their meal, as in “86 pickles”.
  • Baker: a baked potato
  • Queso: a quesadilla
  • Reggae: Exactly as it comes on the menu, no substitutions or alterations, regular
  • All Day: How many of something are needed to complete an order as in “I need three sides of ranch all day!”
  • Heard: Acknowledges a request, so even though you may not be able to fulfill the request immediately, the person knows you have heard them and will get to it ASAP.  Especially important for a server calling for things from the cooks line, so that s/he doesn’t have to keep yelling “Can I get a baker? CAN I GET A BAKER? Will anyone get me a baker?” If one of the cooks yells “Baker heard!” the server knows that they will eventually (in theory) get a baked potato.
  • V-Daq: Virgin daiquiri. (I use this term, and the ones above.  I have never used the majority of the ones below.)
  • Adam & Eve on a raft & wreck them: two scrambled eggs on toast
  • Burn one, take it through the garden and pin a rose on it: hamburger with lettuce, tomato and onion
  • Check the ice: look at the pretty girl who just came in
  • Dough well done with cow to cover: bread and butter
  • Eve with a lid on: apple pie (referring to the biblical Eve’s tempting of Adam with an apple, the “lid” is the pie crust)
  • First lady: spareribs (a pun on Eve’s being made from Adam’s spare rib)
  • Graveyard stew: milk toast (buttered toast, sprinkled with sugar and cinnamon, and dropped into a bowl of warm milk)
  • Hail: ice
  • In the weeds: a waitress/cook that cannot keep up with the tables or orders (I definitely use this one from time to time, like on Mother’s Day!)
  • Jack Benny: cheese with bacon
  • Keep off the grass: no lettuce
  • Give it shoes: an order to go, a takeaway order
  • Marry: consolidate food in same containers, i.e. pouring ketchup from half-filled bottles into other bottles to make full bottles (I use this one)
  • Noah’s boy: a slice of ham (Ham was Noah’s second son)
  • Noah’s boy with Murphy carrying a wreath: ham and potatoes with cabbage
  • On the fly: as soon as possible (I use this one a lot!)
  • Put out the lights and cry: an order of liver and onions
  • Soup jockey: waitress
  • Two cows, make them cry: Two hamburgers with onions
  • Vermont: maple syrup
  • Walking in/back: a new order just arriving in the kitchen. (this one is quite common)
  • Zeppelins in a fog: sausages and mashed potatoes

Stay tuned for some more Wacky Terms in the near future! Can you think of any? Please share! God bless!

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Video: Smart Money Knows When Its Time to Suggest Mickey Ds

Marta Daniels explains how irritating and inappropriate it is when people come in large groups to a restaurant, but only a couple of people order anything.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DMXXeGL5U-8

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And the Oscar Goes To…

academy+award And the Oscar Goes To…Here’s a concept that I really need the RCs out there to grasp.  Really try and let this sink in please.  Your server is your friend, not your foe! We are a symbiotic pair, the RC and I.  We both have a common goal: for the RC to be absolutely thrilled with their dining experience.  The RC’s stake in this is obvious, but I guess maybe mine isn’t, so I’ll explain.  I don’t make any money unless you tip me.

Let me break this down even further.  RCs are convinced that the only thing the server cares about is driving up the bill.  This is a common misconception, a  myth if you will.  We don’t get paid based on how much you spend.  On the contrary, at a lot of restaurants, like mine, we get docked in pay based on how much you spend! The host staff, bussers and bartenders all get money from me and my fellow servers.We pay out 3% of our sales every night to a fund called Tip Share, which pays our support staff.  So if you spend $100, I have to pay my restaurant $3 whether you tip me $5 or $20.  If you spend $33, I pay my restaurant $1 whether you tip me $5 or $20.  See what I’m driving at? Servers don’t care how much you spend,we only care how much you tip.  I had a guy one time who got an iced tea and an order of broccoli.  That’s it! His total bill was like, $4.  He left me a $20 and told me to keep the change.  My tip share was probably like 2 cents or something.  Get my drift?

So we have a vested interest in keeping you the RC happy.  And therefore, we are your biggest advocate when something goes wrong with your meal! Until you cross the line and become a big putz, or worse- a Drama Queen. If your meal is taking a long time, I’m upset about it too! I’m in the cook’s face, in my manager’s face, I’m going to get you a free soup or salad as you wait, and depending on how long this unfortunate event drags on, I’m going to advocate for a free dessert and/or your entree comped.  Anything over 15 minutes is unacceptable, period! And you, the RC, have every right and reason to be irritated.

However.  If your meal still hasn’t arrived at 20 minutes and you want to make sure I’m aware of that, tell me its been 20 minutes.  Don’t say a half hour or 40 minutes, because the time is actually on the ticket.  And if you’d like to speak to my manager, by all means, I can facilitate that.  But don’t tell my manager you’ve been waiting an hour.  Again, my manager has access to the same ticket that I do.  You just look like an idiot.  My manager and I are both concerned if you’ve been waiting 20 going on 25 minutes for your meal.  But we’re both just irritated when you start whining loudly that you’ve been sitting here in this restaurant two hours now with no food, and we’ve only been open an hour and a half!

I think RCs think that the louder fuss, the more compensation they will receive.  This is the case- as long as you have a legitimate beef.  If you’re meal runs a half an hour, my manager will comp the meal if you fling yourself to the ground and beat the floor with your fists, screaming bloody murder.  By the same token, he’ll comp your meal if you calmly inform him of the facts with a smile.  In fact, he’ll comp your meal if I take him aside and tell him how long the food took to come out.  Histrionics do nothing to help your cause.  At best, you’ll get the exact same results you would have got from being sane and rational, and my manager and I will be amused at how idiotic you look and sound.  We’ll share a laugh later.  Worst case scenario? You make us both mad, and my manager gives you a free soda and tells you to have a nice day.

The lesson to be learned here? Restaurants are not theaters, no one is handing out awards for the Best Angry RC Performance.

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Reader Poll: As an Adult, How Often Do You Order From the Kiddy Menu?

I did a post awhile back called “Whiskey No Ice is a Shot Not a Glass Full of Liquor”. In it, I discussed a lot of methods employed by RCs to get more for less money.  One thing I got into in particular was customers who order from the twelve and under menu when they are well over the age of twelve.  So my question is, how many of you out there order from the kiddy menu when you’re no longer a kiddy? Please take the time to respond to the poll below.  God bless!

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Video: Is There Anything Else is not a Rhetorical Question

Marta Daniels ( http://www.howrc.com ) explains that servers don’t ask questions just to hear themselves talk; they require appropriate responses so that they can better serve YOU!

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JKkiJXhjtTc

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