Ladies, ladies, ladies! Why, as a demographic, are we such difficult restaurant customers? I’m not trying to say that there aren’t prima donna diva male RCs, because there are! Trust me there are. Its just that 75% of all difficult customers are female, and this is a fact. Ask any server you know, male or female. In fact, some wait staff might put that at an even higher percentage than I did!
I’m all about sisterhood and solidarity, but here’s the thing: ladies, the attitude problems are not cute! Here’s an example of what I’m talking about. I came to a table of men and women to take an order. When I got to one of the women, she told me to hold on a moment. Then she turned to the rest of her group and informed them that she “never eats anything off of the menu at a restaurant. I always have to create my own thing, I don’t want to eat things other people eat. I’m unique, and I deserve to eat unique things!” And she proceeded to make my life miserable by giving me the most difficult order she could think of. Men don’t insist on doing things like that, because they are not that insecure!
A lot of you ladies out there are thinking, hey, I’m not like that! I don’t go to extremes like that, I’m not that high maintenance! And maybe you’re not- that high maintenance. But you’ve got to admit that you always alter at least one thing you order from the menu, wherever you go. I guarantee you that 90% of the women out there have never eaten a meal at a restaurant exactly as it is described on the menu, no alterations whatsoever. And that small group of you who have? Your a waitress, or you used to be. Guaranteed.
Another irritating thing about women? The separate checks. Ladies, you will come in a group of seven. Each of you will get a diet coke, a cup of soup or a salad, and a baked potato. That’s it. You will insist upon separate checks. You will all pay your $6.47 check with a $20, and you will all want your change in a variety of denominations with plenty of ones included- in a hurry, because you’re always in a hurry to leave after you ask me to do a twenty minute cash transaction.
But, and here’s the kicker! You will not be prepared to pay the check for AGES! You’ll be in a hurry once you’re ready for the check, but that won’t be for hours! In the meantime, you will all ask for dozens of diet coke and free bread refills, you will push minuscule shreds of lettuce around the salad bowl, and talk and talk and talk and laugh and laugh and laugh. This wouldn’t be a problem, except the seven of you insisted on taking up 15 chairs because you each need a chair for your coat and purse. Also, you will demand separate checks eventually as outlined above, but you will each leave me $1.50, which is not worth the laps I had to run refilling your free refills a million times, nor is it worth the hours of table rent, because that’s what has happened here ladies, you have CAMPED OUT!
On the flip side of the gender coin. Men will come in a group of four max, they don’t do the huge numbers. They will order wings and cheese fry apps, beers and Jack and cokes, steaks, potatoes, salads (exactly how the menu describes them) and sides of fried shrimp. They will stay for the length of time it takes to eat the meal, perhaps one round of drinks after they’re done eating, and that’s it! They are done hanging out, there is no more catching up to do, even if they haven’t seen each other in YEARS!! So the bill comes, and instead of demanding separate checks because “we all have twenties, or we all have debit cards, or we all just feel like being difficult” they spend about forty-five seconds arguing over who’s got it. They settle on who’s got it, or they calculate how much they each owe and throw the cash in, or one guy puts it on his credit card and the other three owe him thirty five bucks apiece. SO EASY! They leave me an awesome tip, and they’re out.
Ladies, lets try and take a page from the men, shall we? Lets stop being nitpicky witchy campers, and start being easy-going, drama free, considerate customers.
